Saturday, December 30, 2006

Have Yourself A Very Merry Christmas

I hope you all had a good one. I had two Christmasses this year - I know, I'm very spoilt but it was more to do with the fact I spent Christmas with Ross's (the boyfriend) family then Christmas with my family. I only had turkey once, which I guess is a feat of my mother's famous cooking. I got a stinking cold which seems to be turning into a stinking chest infection and a comedy voice. Tomorrow I'm having New Year's at mine, and I'm hoping to be ready - ha ha...

I'll leave you with a picture of my Christmas tree. I picked this up as a fairly healthy plant some sod had thrown out in a skip just after Christmas one year and it seems to have got a bit bare and sad since then. I don't think it likes me much, or I'm just not taking the right care of it - any ideas? Let me know.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Thoughts of the Week

1. The house is warm again. Hooray! How long will it last this time, especially given that the heating is not making the happiest noise ever...
2. The Christmas cactus is sulking because it's warm. Huh, plants!
3. I'm (apparently) no longer allowed into a room in my house or use it as I would like. Huh?
4. All the washing up has been done pretty much on the day I created it this week (yes, I know) but the floor is sticky. However, someone, not me, broke the pail so I have to buy a new one. Humph.
5. At least 25% of the things in my kitchen are out of date. So what? Dates are now arbitrary to make people throw stuff away and buy it new.
6. I hate colds. I had one day last month where I felt wonderful, and that was pretty much it. Even taking multivitamins every day hasn't helped.
7. Why are there only 3 weeks left til Christmas? Where did the year go?
8. It's not always my fault. This week someone else made a mistake that delayed my work.
9. "Leave to me and I'll sort it out" is not actually the answer I wanted. I'll go do it myself then.
10. What shall I do now? Maybe I should ask the Magic 8 Ball.

Monday, November 20, 2006

3 Cold Street

I love my little house. Yes, it's messy, I can never be bothered to do my washing so there's a backlog of dirty dishes and I seem to have a large pile of dirty laundry too. This weekend I ironed my sheets for the first time ever - I must be growing up, I noticed that they're just not nice when they go on crumpled. Oh dear.

However, a cold house is not a good house to do anything in. For some reason or other half the radiators in my house just ceased functioning, so the only warm rooms are my bedroom and my hallway. Rubbish. This also has been going on for weeks now. I am cold! The other problem is I have a gas heater in my living room. I put this on, place my little rug over me, and bam, I'm asleep. I'm sure this does nothing for my body - sleeping on a small sofa makes me bend all wrong - or for my sleep patterns. Also I keep missing vital bits of CSI and James Bond (i.e. how on earth did he get out of that without being dropped to his death/cut in half with a laser/ruining that particularly nasty outfit (George Lazenby tries to look like Sherlock Holmes... no, no, no, no!)).

Brrr.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

This Week I Shall Mostly Be Dancing...

...because I made chocolate cake!

I managed to get the special recipie of my mother's chocolate cake (that I ask for every birthday). Surprisingly enough it was real easy to make. So I danced, even though it was midnight, when it was finished.

I can make cake, me!

Monday, November 13, 2006

I know, I'm not big or clever...

Friday night is either a)time to go to the gym, b)occurs elsewhere in the country, c)go home and watch CSI (sometimes coupled with (a) d)go out with random members of department/faculty and get drunk.

This week was the turn of d). I'm sure I didn't mean to, but recollections of Friday night are mostly entertaining and slightly fragmented... This may be something to do with Brother's Pear Cider.

The end of the night involved me wandering home singing at the top of my voice, after being called a legend by some bloke called Jasper I'd only just met that night, at 3am, with some other bloke trying to proposition me by text....
It was just one of those nights.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Remember, Remember, The Fifth Of November

This year was the turn of Tarr's Fireworks Extraviganza (sic). Those of you who don't know Phil would be forgiven for not having the fear of God put into you by those simple words. It all started fairly simply, Phil produced an old set of overalls which we stuffed with newspaper (making me freeze in the process, oh yes, I forgot to mention, IT WAS BLOODY COLD!). The bonfire was made in one of those fire bins and the guy, which looked a bit like the baby from Family Guy, was propped up on top. Soon enough the guy went up in flames, and his "guts" kind of fell out of the bonfire and landed on the soil, prompting Rach, who's house the party was going to be held at, to say, "Yeah, that would have been FINE in my back garden".
The fireworks started off with a bit of a bang, and not in a good way. Matt and Garreth go off to set one off and next thing we know they're running away from a bloody great big flash of light. They didn't quite get which bit of the firework they were supposed to light. Luckily neither of them were hurt, and we managed the rest of the fireworks in safety, having a good laugh at the catherine wheel which didn't actually go round at all (whoops!)...
As I came in this morning in the fog created by burning bonfires I reflected on this and on many previous bonfire parties, and wondered how long it would be before they banned bonfires due to them giving off too much carbon dioxide. That would be a very sad day.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Today I did Something Good

I made a man happy and maybe helped someone in the world start a duck breeding program.


My friend's father is running in the London Marathon next year and is raising money for ActionAid. He seems to have been a bit down in the dumps recently so I thought I would cheer him up with a donation towards his sponsorship. Yay, it worked! I have made him happy, and I have just given enough money that would have paid for a small trip to Asda. Or someone in the world to get shelter. And I don't believe I've seen any Actionaid people trying to stop me for money in the street (which I find intensly irritating).

Right, I'll get off my soapbox now and go eat some supper. May we all be lucky enough to have supper tonight.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Happy Halloween!


I made this! Yay! Although Ross helped.

This weekend I went to see The Film Where Everybody Dies (In A Violent And Bloody Way), had to wave bye bye to Ross, which sucks a lot, and went to The Munchkin's housewarming where I was great at Singstar and rubbish at Dance Mat (although Dance Mat was fun and lots of exercise, always a good thing!). Oooh and I got the top that flaunts what I've got...

And in plant news I have one measly cherry tomato on my humugous vines - that was all they made. The Christmas Cactus thinks it's allready Christmas (eeek!) and I suspect one of the hoyas that's not supposed to flower for years has a little flower bud on it. Yay! I bought another one, very naughty, but I think I've lost two cuttings anyway :(

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

In My Email Box Today...

I just had to share this one with you...

Hi,

I was wondering if anybody just happened to have a large capacity floor standing refrigerated centrifuge that they wanted to sell? Unfortunately my supervisor decided to set my previous one on fire.

This Week I Shall Mostly Be Dancing...

....because there's brownie just when I need it
....because I'm having my first singing lesson next week
....because Ross is coming to see me tonight
....because I can.

Friday, October 13, 2006

What happens if you fall asleep on the underground...


This guy had fallen asleep, so the people next to us decided to cover his hair with shaving foam. Two minutes after this photo was taken, he decided to wake up. Thankfully we (who had nothing to do with this, I hasten to add, we were just opposite him) were at Mile End, our change stop, so we could escape quickly...

Monday, October 09, 2006

A Metaphor


A bale of straw contains over a million straws.

What happens when there are no more straws?

Say it like Neo: "There is no bale"

Friday, October 06, 2006

In My Email Box this Morning (6th October)

"Get a PSP & top game from £169.99" offer is subject to availability and may be changed or withdrawn without notice by Amazon.co.uk at any time. Offer ends on September 30th, 2006 see website Terms and Conditions for further details.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Things that make me wonder...

What happens to odd socks that are lost? Do they live under the bed waiting for someone to find them?

Why is it that I've got the third cold in as many weeks?

Cholate is nothing at all to do with chocolate, sadly.


I forgot to tell the organic guy I don't like celery and now have a whole bunch of it. Eeeugh!

You know you've been out of it when you leave the oven gas on all night (not burning) and you come to your bycicle only to find it's been randomly locked up.

I want to spend the weekend not doing much and chilling out, but I also want to be sociable. Do I go to a cheese and wine night and risk drinking too much wine?

Why is it that loud noises and bad smells (especially celery!) affect me a lot at the moment?

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Millions of Peaches, Peaches for Me


Sorry, I can't but help fall into the Presidents Of The USA song whenever I think of peaches. The unknown fruit/nut tree that has been sat in my garden has in fact turned out to be a peach. I never thought that peach trees would bear fruit in this country but I was wrong. Maybe I should have been listening to James and the Giant Peach a bit harder. Never mind, I now have at least 10 peaches to eat before the slugs and other bugs get them.
mmmmm... millions of peaches, peaches for me, millions of peaches, peaches for free.....

Monday, September 25, 2006

The Willow Tree


This is my parent's willow tree. It broke, so they had to hack away at it until it stood almost naked. It's exposed now, bare until it can grow some new branches.
How the mighty can crumble... but it's all ready growing.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Observations of A Wednesday Morning

I hate spiders. I particularly hate it when I happily wander into a room and it's just there, on the floor. This makes me go highly girly and scream lots. Then I squash it, and then have to leave the hoover over it for at least five minutes to make sure it's been sucked up.

Why is it that even this picture gives me the willies?













I also wonder why I just spent £5 for the priviledge of being shown how to use 3 pieces of equipment that I probably could have figured out in five seconds. Be aware of a slightly uncoordinated (or should that be VERY uncoordinated) tall woman attempting to use the running machines. I tried it for a few moments today and it was allready comedy. On a related note I recently saw the bizarrest video involving a band doing a syncronised dance on treadmills.

This is OK Go. They are probably quite strange.

Monday, September 18, 2006

The Curious Incidents Of Hilary In The Daytime

First of all, here is my sunflower

Isn't it amazing that one small seed can produce something so heauge? It's pretty. And the only one on the street, ha ha.
















Note to self - don't go online when drunk!
Because this is what will happen... my obsession with hoyas reached a climax last week when I came home and decided to buy 6 hoyas after a few bevvies. I recieved the plants four days later and then was slightly concerned about how I was going to make them all grow. I decided, as it's a bit cold now, to get them a little propagator in the hope that will make them happy and root quickly.

On my way back from the nursery with the propagator somehow stuffed into my pannier, the most bizarre thing happened. I was cycling along relatively happily (I was tired and I wanted to get home) when suddenly a car goes past me, I hear a loud clap and my top leg is instantly in agony. Someone shot me with a paintball-style gun. Luckily it didn't break the skin (much) but it gave me quite a shock. The Munchkin told me today that this is something UWE students do to people, just shoot paintballs at them. Is this their idea of fun?

Although, this has to be the first bruise I didn't inflict upon myself...

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Onion and Mushroom Gravy

Tasty, tasty, very very tasty

Serves 3 hungry people

A knob butter
Two Onions, sliced
A box mushrooms, sliced
Good splash red wine
Teaspoon cornflour
Gravy browning
Vegetable stock cube
Hot water/water you've just boiled the potatoes/veg in

Melt butter in a pan or saucepan.
Add onions and fry on a medium heat until translucent, try not to burn
Add mushrooms and stir for a couple of minutes.
Add the wine and cook for a further five minutes.
Meanwhile, place the cornflour onto a saucer and mix into a splash of wine. Add a few drops (NO MORE!!!) of gravy browning until it goes brown.
Break stock cube over mushroom mixture and stir in. Mix in the cornflour mixture. Add a good splash of hot water and mix. Heat until the liquid thickens. Enjoy. Mmmmmmmmmmm. Good with bangers and mash.

Monday, September 11, 2006

9/11: I Was There

Ok folks, this is a personal entry about a distressing event. Please don't get upset with me when it gets distressing. I am only recounting the truth as I remember it.

September 9th, 2001. I was staying at my sister's husband's apartment in New York, in Greenwich Village, sleeping on the futon in the main room. I was at the end of my two month trip around the world and was just "passing through" on my way home. I was due to leave on the 10th and that day was going to go to the Stock Exchange.
Just after 9 we get a phone call. It's Richard, my sister's husband, telling us someone's just flown into the World Trade Centre. Immediately we put the news on, and the first reports were coming in. Someone filmed the second one coming in, and they put that on the news. As soon as I saw it I knew it was no accident.

The rest of the day and the next few days are a bit of a blur. I remember us all sat around the room in shock watching the news for hours on end. One of the guys who came to sit with us, a friend of Theresa or Richards, I can't remember, had seen people jumping out of the windows to save themselves. The towers came down in fairly quick succession to each other and I remember thinking that when the second one came down, it was a replay of the first one until I looked out the toilet window and saw it go down. I went out later in the day to see people sat in parks watching the smoke and listening to their radios. None of the phones were working but for some reason the internet was so we managed to get emails out to our family that we were OK. I remember sending one to Tony, who then kindly sent it on to all the people I'd been emailing about my trip round the world, who then sent me emails back saying they were glad I was OK.

We'd spent lunch not two days before in the World Trade Centre cafe, I remember lifts that made your stomach jump, and afterwards we wondered what had happened to those people there. My flight, of course, did not leave the next day, so I had a couple of extra days in New York. I couldn't go visit the Empire State Building and taxis could only take you so far downtown. I particularly remember going to an Indian a couple of days later downtown and making some crass remark about the mango ice cream being an insult against humanity.

The real thing I remember about my trip is the flight home. I'd spent days trying to find out from BA when I could get a flight. In the end they started flying back on the Friday. So, on Friday, I made my way to JFK International airport. My sister had told me to come back if they weren't flying out but I knew I probably wouldn't be coming back. JFK was complete chaos, nobody knew what flight they were going to take if any, and you just checked your baggage in and hoped. I had a moment trying to explain what a digeridoo was (I had just been to Australia) and had to put it in the hold as it was a dangerous instrument... I then just sat for what was probably hours waiting to see if I'd get a flight out. In the departure lounge, if you could call it that, there were no shops, nothing. I was starving and hoping that I would get through and get something to eat. I'd promised myself cesar salad if I did. Sometime a bit later the lady who had served me at checkouts came round saying "Are you Roberts?" I answered yes, that I was. She'd got me a ticket to London, and somehow remembered me, it was the most bizarre thing ever. so I finally got through the passport control and to a restaurant, where, believe it or not, they were serving cesar salad. I was squashed in economy and on a night flight, but I didn't give a shit, I was going home. None of the payphones were working but I managed to get to the information desk and ask one of the ladies there if I could borrow her mobile to call my sister. I was lucky once more as there was such a queue for the phone that soon after I got through the lady wasn't letting anyone call on her phone any more.
One thing I remember about the flight home is that I was really scared to change my watch back to English time until I knew I was back in London. You have no idea how overjoyed I was when we flew over London and I saw the Millenium Wheel. Then I knew I was home.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Gone In 60 Seconds

If I could steal cars, these would be the ones I'd try and get away with:

Kit
Well, if you're going to steal a car, why not a fictional one?

A Delorean
As above. Preferably one that could fly. That would be cool. Not so bothered about the time travel bit...

Pontiac Firebird Trans-Am 1979
Well, if you were going on a stealing spree, you might just pick one up for the boyfriend. Cos you love him.

Ferrari Enzo
Well, you'd have to steal a Ferrari. And this is the one everyone talks about.

An Old MG
My car knowledge doesn't go very far but I'd like one of those cute MGs I see sometimes rusting in corners.

Austin DB9
So I could pretend to be Bond, although knowing me I'd be a complete pansy in it. If only you could get one with rocket launchers so you can remove the traffic in front of you. Oooh, and a passenger ejector seat in case you don't like the person sat next to you.... he he

And, of course, the Batmobile.

Saionara.

Monday, September 04, 2006

This Week, I Shall Be Mostly Dancing...

The "I get free plants" dance

Yay! As most of you know, I'm completely obsessed with plants, especially Hoyas. I recently bought a hoya off a Swedish trade site (try doing this and not knowing any Swedish...) and then realised that in order to send the seller money, I would have to pay £20 for the privilege (meep) of transferring £10 to a Swedish bank account. But, instead, if I have plants she doesn't have, all I have to do is pay for the postage of sending her plants in return for new plants coming through the post to me...

*dancing*

Thursday, August 31, 2006

"She's All That" Causes Confusion

Ah. Film Four. The now-free film channel brings us quality films every day.
Really?
Well, maybe if you're a girl and/or like trashy films you may have enjoyed the offering of "She's All That". I was slightly bemused, but it was very watchable, as I am a trashy film-o-holic...

The premise of the film was high-school jock is dumped by largest bitch (i.e. the most popular girl in school) six weeks before the prom. He is bet by not-so-good-buddy to take the dorkiest girl in school and make her prom queen. Yes, it really is that trashy. But there are some good twists in the tale.

But I was confused. I was confused because the dork kept wearing a felafel on her head, the jock made up some random stage show about hakeysacks (sp?), the dork made her art-class rival look like a clown, the jock didn't kiss the girl half-way through the film for some unknown reason, Sarah Michelle-Gellar sits in the canteen and has a non-speaking cameo, and they just start dancing in sync during the prom scene..... and the dork was called Laney Boggs...

And I am confused...

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Blame It On The Boogie... Or The Tall People (Part One)

Ah... August weekend. What to do - spend a weekend chilling out at home being fed by my mother and being the general dogsbody, going out with friends to camp in Croyde, getting rained on, or do something completely different with tall people?

Well, it had to be the tall people. The weekend started with the trip to Nottingham. The train station always seems to be three minutes ahead of me so maybe stopping to get cash when I only had three minutes to go was probably a stupid idea. Never mind, after much swearing I was on the next train a little poorer. The weekend may have started on a bad footing but was made much better by being able to find Ross and Rob (Tweedledum and Tweedledee with legs) in the pub next to the train station as soon as I did turn up in Nottingham. The hall we were staying in was a 20-minute trip from Nottingham in the very pleasant town of Eastwood. It was lovely, although a little bit claustrophobic - the corridors were a tad narrow for my liking!
We were supposed to have a barbeque for Friday night, but it rained. So they gave us food inside, which we were particularly grateful of after not eating since a pasty at lunch. The Directors dressed up as members of the Robin Hood tale (including one particularly fetching bloke, Stuart, in a Maid Marian outfit. Nice.) . Then there was big snakes and ladders, twister and kareoke. I lost the snakes and ladders, there was only half a twister (?) and went for singing Dream A Little Dream, again.
Saturday was "cultural day". We went to Nottingham Town centre to view the Robin Hood statue. I think most Nottingham residents get annoyed with the fact that that's all people associate Nottingham with. Well at least they don't always think of the fact that Nottingham has the one of the highest violent crime rates in the country! We spent some time in the caves looking at where they had bomb shelters (and then wondered if sandstone would actually protect from a bomb when it can be rubbed away with bare hands) and went on to the "Castle". Of course, Nottingham castle is actually a manor house and not a castle, but we weren't bothered. Especially when the group was approached by the local news and Ross got filmed for half a second...
Ah! And who was right beside him... Yes, little old me! Standing between Ross and Karsten (that's the other tall bloke, possibly just a wee bit taller than Ross at 7'4), which happened a lot to me, actually made me feel quite small!
After our starring role we got to have lunch and spend a little bit of time going round the castle before being picked up in our as-spacious-as-they-come- but-still-too-small-for-Ross coach. Our tour guide spent the trip to Sherwood forest telling us about Robin Hood and his band of Merry Men. The whole way, which was an hour and 40 minutes, or so I was told. I was told this, as despite the fact that our tour guide had a very loud voice and there was a speaker right above my head, I managed to sleep through a large percentage of the tale....

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Today I Shall Be Mostly Dancing....

The "I can make Ross' DVD Dance"

Ok, this may need some explanation. We have made up many phrases of the week but recently we have decided we needed a dance too. This is mainly because when I was bored one day, I just started to dance while Ellie and Pippa were setting a gel. This was rapidly christened "The Gel Setting Dance", which morphed into "The Gel Running Dance" which one day even included jazz hands (see, before this, all the dances were roughly the same dance, just for different purposes!). The dance is usually bad, and involves some kind of arm movement, not much leg movement. Last time Ross saw me do it he asked me if I was having a fit or something, rude boy. My favourite dance is the "Dried Mango" dance as we were in Asda the other day and found dried mango, which brought about dancing. We like dried mango. But we're not allowed to dance in front of it any more because apparently it's inefficient (or Tone just wants his dinner!)....

And, for your viewing enjoyment, here is the cover of Ross's new DVD project... since I'm definitely not taking a photo of me dancing badly (sorry!)

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Don't Tell Me Not To Fly, I've Simply Got To


I'm sorry, but Morris Dancing has to be one of the most eccentrically English (or is it British, I don't know) things there is. Grown men waving hankerchiefs with hats decorated with flowers. All with bells tied round their legs. Bizarre. Although I'd never seen a beast before. I just looked that one up. Apparently Morris dancing is thought of mostly as a English tradition, and is traditionally male. Although there are some groups who have women dancers too (well I was just wondering!).
This display was all part of the Bristol Flower Show, where, shockingly enough, I didn't buy any plants. Before you all gasp in wonder, I did buy some cider. Local scrumpy in a milk-style bottle. Nice. As well as some andouiette-style pork with stuffing bun (for those of you who aren't Jocelyn, andouiettes are rather disgusting local sausages we mistakenly purchased at a festival in Paris. Blargh.). I watched some fire cadets do five things with a ladder. I was a bit disappointed because I was hoping that firemen might be big and sexy and do some fire demonstration but apparently today it was just a few spotty teenagers with a ladder and a tarpaulin. But they did tie someone up which I guess was kind of exciting...
The final show was a magician. This bloke was actually quite a good entertainer as well and spent most of the time talking and not really doing any tricks, and seeing as he didn't know many this was a good thing. I was really entertained actually, especially with the Three Chairs And A Table Top trick which involved a lot of precarious balancing... oh, and three juggling balls, of course


Meep. And yes, he did get on that big unicycle in the front, and proceeded to circle round the entire crowd at much pace!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

I Had A Tractor, But It Didn't Work

I had a tractor, but it didn't work
I had a tractor, but it didn't work
I had a tractor, the wheels fell off
I had a tractor, the wheels fell off



I'm sorry, I just needed that.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Running Through Mirrors

There was a cocktail party. It was far less stressfull than it could have been because I had an Ellie to help me with the organisation. The house is absolutely spotless now (yes really) including my bedroom....

We played Kareoke. So, I went through the high scores today and I thought I would present you with the top 10 singers from the party....

1. Helen 8200
2. Sue 7824
3. Hills 7535
4. Ellie 7448
5. Rachel 7078
6. Phil O 7073
7. Cat 6962
8. Pete 6873
9. Phil T 5906
10. Patrick 4890

Well done everyone! Thank you all for coming...

Thursday, August 10, 2006

The Saga Of The Bug Room

When I came here, Everything Worked.
Then, the centrifuge Broke. This may not seem a problem, but when you have to do four spins in a centrifuge one floor up, and you have to travel there eight times, it's not so much fun.
Four long months passed.
Meanwhile The Sonicator Broke. Again, this may not seem so much, but when you've walked eight times upstairs and you have to go up again for the final time and stand in a fridge for 10 minutes You Are Quite Pissed Off (and Exhausted).
The New Centrifuge Arrived, finally, after One Month's Delay and The Hottest July On Record (here I remind you again of the nine times having to go up and down stairs)
A month later, The Sonicator Works! Hooray, you think, maybe the saga has finished....

The Incubator Broke. Just in the Middle Of My Induction. So I'm Delayed Another Hour.
Ok, again, this May Not Be The End Of The World, but it's annoying, especially when you make the effort to come in and start early.
Also we now have 1 incubator for 5 plus groups to share, with overnight incubations at 37, inductions at 30 and growing competent cells at 19 this may not Work Very Well....

The saga continues...

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Peanut Cracknell Week

If life was a box of chocolates, this would be a week full of peanut cracknells. Those of you not familiar with Quality Street as I have been over many Christmasses might need to know that peanut cracknell was mashed peanut covered with chocolate and one of the family's least favourite chocolates, so much so most of them were given to the dogs. They were horrible. And so this week has been horrible. But the week is finished now, and there were some nice moments, such as pizza, biscuits and chocolate in front of a really trashy film with Ellie. That was a Lindlt Tiramisu moment (mmmm they are good). Going to watch Pirates of the Carribean on Wednesday despite being completely exhausted was also really good (probably a toffee and hazelnut-centered chocolate). Yesterday, we went to Stratford upon Avon which was weird because last time I was there, almost a year ago, I was one of the shortest people (being on a tall trip there ARE women taller than me, yes really. They're lovely too.) there. This time I was the tallest. Picnic lunch was fun but sitting in the very topmost row of a baking hot theatre (I suffer slightly from vertigo and from heat exhaustion) trying to work out what the hell Patrick Stewart was doing with a load of shiprecked mariners, spirits and a man who smelt of fish on an island (this was the Tempest, by the way) was a bit hard to fathom and extremely hard to stay awake through. We reckoned Mr Shakespeare, much as I respect his work, was on some kind of drug throughout the writing of this. But it was something different, and it was good to see a play in a theatre I'd gone round the back of last time I was there.

So, all's well that ends well? Maybe. I don't think I'll be having any Dark Bounty moments soon though. Hopefully more middle of the road - maybe a Twix or something.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

More Flower Excitement

Another one of my Hoyas has been waving flower buds at me for a very long time. I was surprised that it did actually flower because many of the buds get rejected, but this one has made it and is preeety....

This one is a Hoya Engleriana. There are more pictures of the buds opening here and you can read more about my hoyas here (also linked as My Hoya Page).
As a result of the flower the plant's been moved from my bedroom to a more prominent position in the lounge. Much flowery goodness.... Yay.
But I'm not feeling so yay because I worked 11 hours yesterday, have had little sleep recently and this makes a Hilary break down gently.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Cod with Sweet Potato "Salad"

So good you'll dance (I should trademark that!)

One chunk cod
One sweet potato, peeled and cut into chunks
One red (or yellow, or orange) pepper, cut into strips
One onion, cut into small wedges
Olive oil
Fresh basil and parsley
Dessertspoon mayonnaise
A few drops tabasco sauce
Pinch freshly-grinded pepper

Place cod, potato, pepper and onion in a large piece of cooking foil on a baking tray. Drizzle with olive oil and tear the herbs over it. Fold foil over food like a parcel.
Cook at gas mark 6 (400 F 200 C) for about half an hour or until the cod is cooked.
Mix the mayo, tabasco and pepper together, use as a dressing for the food.
Mmmmmmmm

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Things To Use Instead Of Your Hand

I frequently find myself at least a hand full, so I thought I would create a random list - why not?

5. Your Other Hand (go for the obvious one)
4. Your Leg - good for kicking doors open. Don't kick to hard, otherwise it'll come back at you too fast....
3. Your Elbow (good for door handles)
2. Your Mouth (commonly used by me to hold my wallet when I've run out of hands - not recommended when handling dangerous materials!)
1. Your Arse (bum first, also can be used to open door handles)

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

No, I Don't Want to Give You £x a Week, Or Convert To Your Religion

It all started with the phone calls. Once upon a time people never got blasted at every turn with people trying to grab your money, although I might be feeling wistful here. Now we get someone at every turn. Phone calls are easy, as you can just hang up on them (if you don't want to be horribly rude to them as my father is). So are emails - delete (you can say that in a cyberman-stylee way if you like). One of the first ever crank calls I got was from someone telling me I'd won a trip to Florida. Sounds lovely, if it wasn't for the fact four hurricanes hadn't just torn through the entire state.
spam Even spam is nicer than emails that tell you you've won $1 million but you will have to pay some "transfer expenses" to get it. Ha.

Now we have the group of people in town all wearing similar bibs all trying to grab your money. If you miss one, then you're more than likely to be hit by the next. Yes, I know that you're just trying to support the aged or the pandas or people in Africa with no water but all I want to do is go into town and be LEFT ALONE. If I wanted to give money to these people I would do it when I had a moment at the computer. I made the mistake of stopping to chat to a Sustrans bloke. I know they do good work, but to be honest when I'm cycling to work of a Thursday, I don't want to be stopped and asked for money.
On Saturday, while I was washing up, I had to answer the door to a Jehovah's witness. I only know that because I was bothered by her before. I told her I was busy and held up my froth-filled hands. She asked me whether I would like her to come back and go through the bible or something with her. Sigh. I really did want to ask her whether I really wanted to join a religion where only 144,000 of the members are elegible to go to heaven but I couldn't be bothered to argue about religious matters on a Saturday morning with soap suds in my hands.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

The Day You Realise You've Become Your Mother....

...... when you find what was couscous mouldering in a container in the back of your fridge.

Our survey says.... eewwwww

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Lessons Learnt In Central Bristol

1. Always wear a Helmet
I'm going to be serious here. On Wednesday night a bloke cycled down Park Street and never made it. He was not wearing a helmet, and this may have saved his life. If we can learn anything from this it is to wear a helmet. Please.

2. When in groups of five, wear a costume?
I came through the centre of town the other day and went past a group of five men wearing sailor uniforms. I was going to write something about men in uniform (arrogant but yummy) but then, as I cycled on, I noticed five people wearing bride's dresses, two of which were most definitely male. This was getting more curious. Then I went past five people wearing commando uniforms. At this point I realised there must be teams of five all dressed in the same uniform doing something round Bristol. I'm sure they had fun...

3. If it's going to go to waste, let everybody enjoy it

I came past this rather bizarre image on my way home yesterday. I believe it had happened just before I came past in the morning as they were arranging the flowers as I went past. I have no idea whatsoever how this happened, as this lorry is right in the middle of a pedestrian/bus area. I can only believe that it came careering down Park Street and somehow managed to end up here. Ooops.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Body Matters

I am tying up a few loose ends here.

First of all, a few months ago I wrote about my weight problem and what I was going to do to solve it. Allegedly I now weigh 15 stone, which means I've lost 5 pounds in 4 months. Well, at least I haven't gained weight. Anyway, most people apart from my immediate family tell me that I don't need to lose weight, so instead I'm going to start to focus on toning up instead and trying to eat as healthily as I can within reason and cravings. There we go. Maybe in another four months I'll give you guys another update.

Also my friend Marcus has been bugging me for weeks about whether I've done another HNT. I find this a little suspect, but am bored enough to present this little offering. I took it specially after going to badminton and it was bloody hard work. Anyway, that's the final one, and it comes with a small "some flesh on show" warning.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Paris est Ma Ami... Et La Cidre


My first two trips to Paris were not auspicious events. The first time, we were changing buses in some dodgy bus station and got chased by a freaky French bloke demanding kisses (from me and my male friend, or from both of us, I never stopped to find out). The second time, we went to go visit a university friend who spend most of her time sucking face with her French boyfriend and not actually spending that much time with us, despite the fact we'd travelled all the way from Bristol by car to see her.

So, I approached my third trip to Paris with some trepidation. Was the third time going to be luckier? Hooray! It was! I had a lovely time. We walked round Paris at least 10 times, drank the equivalent of three bottles of wine and had more French food than probably a French person. Croissants, pain au chocolat, baguette, escargots (snails), andouiettes (disgusting French sausages that smelt of offal), crepes, galettes (savoury version of crepes), random (but delicious) salads with bread on top, steaks done very rare, tarte bourdelou (pear and almond, mmmm), delicious sorbets with any type of fruit you wanted (pear and apple... mmmmmm) and, last but not least, my most favouritest, French cider.

Ah yes. French cider. Yummy yummy, for those of you who ever go to France and come back with a bottle of this for me will make a very good friend....

I look forward to drinking this, probably will dance a lot when I get to open it (outside, as these things are notoriousely dangerous and have a tendency to explode!!!)

Monday, June 26, 2006

Amusing Announcement

Before Monty Python's "Meaning Of Life" :

This film contains swearing, violence, sex... and a wafer thin mint.

My Hoya Carnosa

Dance with me! My first ever Hoya flower!!! Woooohooooooooooooo!
And I can smell it, despite a blocked nose and a chest infection...
I love Hoyas. My interest in plants was started at an early age by my mother, who got us to plant out seeds and watch them grow into flowers. Although, I wasn't terribly excited by being able to grow radishes - I hate radishes!
My mother's had these two Hoyas growing in the dining room for longer than I've been alive. They came from cuttings of her friend's plant in Switzerland, which apparently has been there at least since the 1940s. Several years ago these plants got mealy bugs and started to go downhill. I managed to grab a couple of leaves and tried to root them. After leaving them for several months in the greenhouse, sure enough one leaf did start to root and grow a new stem. Hooray! This plant got taken to Bristol for my undergraduate degree, off to Cambridge for my postgraduate degree and now back to Bristol for my postdoc. Since those early days the plant has grown and grown (to tryffid-like size) but never flowered. It had a few knocks and probably didn't get enough sun. Last year it had to go home again and sat in the sunshine and got fed tomato food for a change, which produced new growths, called "peduncles". Oooh. It's been thinking about flowering for a few weeks now but finally I have been rewarded. Yayayayayayayayay!

[Object] Is My Friend

This particular phrase is currently reaching its zenith. So I thought I would write a list of what is, and is not, my friend this week.

...Is Not My Friend
My body (after feeling that my stomach was exploding at the start of the week, my head is now exploding instead. Nice.)
England, for making me gnash my teeth when I'm watching them. I'd make a very nervous football supporter
Sweden (the match on Tuesday made me say "England and Sweden are not my friends")
Code-lock doors - why are there so many at work, and why do they all have different numbers?
Evmpzg

...Is My Friend
Lunch
My Sofa
Ross (less than a week til I see him! Yay!)
Pizza
Parcels through the post... especially if they're presents!

...Might be My Friend
The centrifuge (it works, but it's far away)
Peter Crouch (we like, but not for too long)
Chocolate (tastes nice, but bad for me)

Feel free to add your own in the reactions area...

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Ode Composed At Midnight

Ah.... Hilary. Tallness, scaryness.... and poetry?



The air covers me like a blanket
It feels as chocolate against my skin
As I go speeding, speeding

I long for the boom of thunder
The storm, it wraps itself around me
Come, pouring rain
And cleanse this sultry earth

O crashing night!
O quiet dawn!
Come leave me now
For this fresh morn.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Yes, You Can Transfect Yourself

I have talked about my work before. Those of you who were around saw my green cells. Recently, Ellie asked what she should transfect (i.e. make green). I told her she could transfect herself. Of course this was a joke (and got to the point where we though it would be funny to transfect her with a yellow flourescent protein so she could be a munchkin) but now we find that, in fact, there is indeed reality in the strangest fiction we could make up...



Ah. A green bunny. Of course, now it all makes sense...

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Do Not Antagonise The Hilary

Otherwise You Get Hurt.

Last night, some bloke undid my bra.

I do not apologise for what I did next.

I don't think he will ever do that again. Ever. To Anybody.

Friday, June 16, 2006

It's Not Funny To Laugh At Tall People

Maybe it is....

I've decided that Peter Crouch is my new idol. Those of you who only know me a little bit may not realise that a bloke who is tall and lanky is my ideal man (which is why I'm going out with a 7'5 bloke who weighs less than I do...)

So, we like Mr Crouch. Well, I do anyway. But for those of you who don't, you can have a good giggle at his various silly poses instead...

"Awww" Come here and give us a hug!











Crouch grows an extra leg, and wonders where it came from (possibly also slightly concerned it's green!)








Imagine playing musical statues and being in that position when the music stops... Ouch!











Right, time to dance off to the weekend....

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Nobody Expects The Spanish Inquisition

A few thoughts for a sleepy warm Thursday lunchtime...

Tiddlywinks. It's my new swear word. I say it usually on the badminton court but it now seems to be creeping into my lab words as well.

The River Avon. Surely there's one in Bristol and Salisbury. They can't be the same river???

The World Cup. My prediction: England will meet Argentina at some stage, and it will get to penalties. Whether we win that game or not will determine whether we win the cup.
As an aside, why does listening to Three Lions give me the goosebumps?

My head. Why do I require at least 9 hours sleep a night? Having had less than that this week, I currently feel like my head's full of gravel. Humph.

Plants. Why can't they just get on and flower, instead of taunting me with buds for weeks? Makes me think of Monty Python; "I taunt you with my buds! I will never flower in your general direction!"

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Babbling

babble, v. To utter a meaningless confusion of words or sounds

Things that make me say grrr:
I burnt my wrist on the oven on Sunday and it has now become a rather lovely blister. It's now got to the scratchy stage and I can't scratch it as it will just make it worse...
Being woken up at 12:30 after being peacefully at sleep for two hours by Ross. The phone had to ring til it was cut off to wake me up...
My experiments not working, again. Pulldowns do not like me. I try so hard and just end up looking incompetent...
My supervisor, a man who can never make his mind up.
My new shoes hurt.
Having to actually get up early every day this week due to lots of work and leaving work early to play badminton, see parents, watch footie and get drunk
Clothes sizing - how can some size 18's fall off me and others stretch across me unnattractively?

Things that make me say yay:
Coffee. It's my friend. I know, I don't drink it, but I do, with chocolate...
I'm going to Paris in two weeks! Yay!
New shoes - one of the "specialist" shops for tall women now does shoes, and they sent me some new shiny ballet pumps! (I did have to pay for them, but they're pretty anyway!)
My parents are coming over tonight to buy me a birthday present and take me out for dinner! Always a time for celebration!
The smiley bouncy happiness that pervades this laboratory like a breath of fresh air.
Lunch. We like lunch. I particularly like it when I have some ripe mini-avocadoes to go with my chicken. Mmmmmmmmmm.....

Right, time to go run some gels. Woohoo.

Friday, June 09, 2006

My Week, In Quotes, Actions and Pictures

Quotes:
"They're like Tweedledee and Tweedledum but with legs" - Hilary comes out with another classic to describe Ross and Rob
"Minimi?" - must be said in a high pitch. Ellie doesn't know the answer.
"Weeeeeeeeee!" - must be said while using office chair as toy, as in whizzing round and round in a circle...
"Door says no..." This being the phrase of the week, it has been used repeatedly for everything from ourselves to inanimate objects, but this one was the funniest.
"La la la la la" - this is an Elaine thing to do, but, unsurprisingly, I have picked it up and now use it a lot.
"Boo" - Elaine says this in a non-scary way, and is amused when I say "Argh!"
"Thankyou for giving me my girlfriend" - you know people can't be like gifts, but glad you're pleased anyway!
"Dan Brown Just Got Richer" - I found this a particularly amusing alternative title to "The Da Vinci Code" by Marcus.
"Shiney" - this may be the next phrase of the week. I bought new clothes at the weekend and they were shiney. I know it's spelt wrong, but that's how it's said, OK?
"It's like stickers but with plants" - Hills finds people online to send plants to, and they'll send plants to her. This causes much excitement....

Actions:
Scratching against the door like a cat to be let in (you try opening a code door with your hands full!
Clapping like a small child when we're excited (involves clapping very fast right in front of your face, with optional bouncing...)
Spinning round on the chair (whilst saying weeee, as above!)

Pictures:
Hills gets Singstar, again. I was sad enough this time to take a picture of it, like when I used to win the hard Minesweeper... I think maybe I should get out more/not be on the "easy" setting...



I made this! Well, almost. The rose was there. But it might not have looked so pretty if I hadn't watered it and fed it. The hanging basket I did plant, however I used pinky/purple flowers which means it clashes a bit... next time I will try harder!

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Time For Tea

I love tea. Also, I don't just drink bog standard tea so I thought I would compile a list of my top ten teas:-
1. Green Tea with Jasmine - very relaxing, just right for when you need calming, or just because you're having chinese. I don't drink it enough.
2. PG Tips - mostly because this is what I drink the most, and it makes me go "Aaaah". No, not "oooh" like in those random adverts.
3. Oolong tea - this is tea that's between black and green. Sadly I finished my last lot so now only get this when I can be bothered to make at my parent's house.
4. Russian caravan - this used to be my favourite, but I drank it too much so has slipped down the list. Still nice occasionally.
5. Japanese green tea with rice - I went to the tea shop near me recently and tried this, it's goood. Very good for upset stomachs, and relaxing too.
6. Green tea - Hongruo, my Chinese lab-mate, brought me back some proper chinese green tea recently. You can really taste it. Mmmmm....
7. Rooibos - again, another new one for me, but not bad all in all. Quite refreshing.
8. Peppermint tea - in Egypt we drank a lot of this. The little tea man in Cambridge, who I miss terribly, gave me some mixed with green tea. Good for upset stomachs and after meals.
9. Vanilla, Ginseng and Blackcurrant - for the days when you really can't wake up, this is a good alternative to coffee and tea. Needs to be stewed, otherwise tastes of nothing...
10. Echinacea - good for colds. Smells like grass (and looks quite yellow). I have a tendency to put my echinacea tea bag in with my PG tips bag, and this seems to work. It does make me feel better, but it could be completely in my mind...

Monday, June 05, 2006

It was My Birthday, And I'll Smile If I Want To

Ah. Yes, I got another year older. As I got older, I managed to make something happen I thought might happen, but didn't actually expect in reality. Now I kind of feel like I've sent my children off into the wide world and I have to let them get on with it without worrying. But I do worry, and I don't know why.

However, I had a lovely weekend. I drank, spent time with my friends, read my book in the peace and relative quiet of my garden in the rare sunshine this country kindly gave us and got given several presents. As an aside, I also got given a large pile of washing up, a complete lack of funds in my bank and was eaten out of house and home. All I have now is some cider and some sausagemeat (hmm.. that sounds nice, maybe I can make a meal out of that!!!).

So, how do I feel? Mostly confused today. I'm hoping that will clear up later. Also, I feel like I should be some kind of singing sensation after managing to get the award of "Singstar" after what felt like a bad rendition of "Paint It Black" by the Rolling Stones (for those of you who don't understand, I got given "Singstar Rocks" for my birthday, and apparently my humming cut the mustard!!!). I'm excited because someone may give me a present later on and I'm hoping it'll go nicely with the hi-fi system that Tony kindly gave me (wrapping a remote control in wrapping paper really confused me for a while, sorry!!!).

We say yay. Probably.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Intermission

There will be a short intermission here. If I had the power I would add a Monty Python stylee yellow intermission sign and some wurlitzer music, but sadly I a) can't be bothered and b) I have no power over anything any more.

The shit has truly hit the fan, and it's gone all over me.



Oooh... it works! Yay, I can do something after all!

Thursday, May 18, 2006

These Are A Few Of My Favourite Things

"I go to the hills when my heart is lonely..."











My top list of musicals that are also films:


1. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (this comes top of my list cos I watched it the other day and couldn't drag myself away - Gert Frobe as a camp castle owner? I would never have thought it!) Favourite Song - Hushabye Mountain
2. Monty Python And The Holy Grail (if only for the Camelot song. Works even better as Lego figures... I laughed, and I laughed) Favourite song - well, it's got to be Camelot
3. Grease (Favourite song - the megamix? can I have that?)
4. Rocky Horror Picture Show (despite the freakyness) Favorite Song - Time Warp (why not?)
5. The Sound Of Music (Favorite song - um. The Sound of Music)
6. Mary Poppins (This used to be my very favorite when I was little. apparently I used to make my parents put it on endlessly. Unfortunately has slipped down the board due to its inability to keep me interested as an adult) Favourite Song - Jolly Holiday. If only for the cow singing "Moooary makes the sun shine bright"
7. Chicago (Favorite Song - He Had It Coming)
8. Moulin Rouge (It's been so long since I've seen this I can't remember what it's about)
9. The Lion King (cute animals. Favorite song - I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts)
10. Joseph and the Technicolour Dreamcoat (they had to put donny osmond as Joseph. Aaargh. It'll never be the same with a female narrator as well. Favorite song - Potiphar).

Monday, May 15, 2006

The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

The Good:
Doctor Who this week! My god, are the Cybermen scary! By the end of the episode, I was truly scared. I have a feeling I may have seen them in an earlier incarnation and this is the root of my fear, or maybe it's just because it was just genuinely scary. Hmmm...

The Bad:
My friend was doing his DIY this weekend and managed to give himself quite a bad electric shock and hurt his left hand quite badly. He's spent two nights in hospital and may need a skin graft this morning. Get well soon Tony!

The Ugly:
David Tennant with a beard. One word: NO! Please shave it off...

Friday, May 12, 2006

Men, You Suck

No, I'm not sorry. I'm going to steal a bit of Ellie's rant here in my list of why men suck at the moment.

The man who was supposed to send me my nice pretty plant still hasn't, after five days of waiting.
The postman who's supposed to be delivering me my plant didn't turn up before I had to go to work.
The plumber didn't turn up this morning before I had to go to work.
Men who fancy me. Stop it! I can't cope!
Two men I know were in such a depressed mood the other day they made me feel down and like it was all my fault.
The man of my life decided last night that we shouldn't see each other any more. Again.

Go Away! Stop making my life more complicated than it all ready is!

I swear, it's a conspiracy...

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Tryffids!

I swear my plants are growing into tryffids at the moment. One minute they're small and sweet, the next they're going to be climbing all over the window and threatening me with their long vines.... eek!
Take, for example, my hoya carnosa. Here it is as a pretty, tidy plant
Now it's attacking the curtain pole!


Ok, so maybe I DID undo it. However, I measured it at the same time - it's 11 and a half foot long, which is a probably enough to catch you if you were trying to run away.... or creep up on you if you were peacefully watching the television... They could even possibly run around on their roots...




The other day I showed you my brand new seedlings. A few weeks later they've got a bit bigger... My mother, nicely, tells me these tomatoes are going to get to 2 feet high - ok not as big as the hoya but big enough.... whimper

So, if you don't hear from me for a while, and you don't know where I've got to, it's because the plants have taken over...


Graaaaaaah!